Morning number 5 where i get up and do 15 minutes of jump roping.

I finally (basically) did 15 minutes straight with no long breaks. The only times i stopped where when i clipped my feet and had to stop to get the rope going again.  I suppose its not real until i can do it without clipping my feet....but that seems a long way away. I mess up alot. I'm still really happy, it's a big step in my quest for good endurance. i remember, when i used to go outside randomly with no real routine and jump rope, i would go for 2 minutes  and it would feel like 10. I would huff and puff and have to stop. So.....this is good.

oh i should say that i managed to do my first muscle up since my injuries a few months ago. felt great. i was starting to practice again for a few days, and then the other day i went out and, BAM! i went all the way up. Now to do 2 in a row! then 3!

zephan says he tries to do parkour every day. i think i will start going out and doing some with him this week. i need to add stretching to my daily routine. Too, which means a lot more exercise to get my muscles tired.

Couldn't get to sleep until 1230 or 1 or so, woke up at 8 and decided to lay in bed. Big mistake, i slept till 1030, woke up tired and not rested. Last week, well maybe 2 weeks ago now, before i went to disney land, i went to sleep one night at lke 10 and got up at 7 and felt great. I was awake and my eyes didnt feel like they wanted to drop. I had energy and shit. thats what im aiming for but its hard to do when i can't fall asleep at a decent time.

I'm going to jump rope soon, before i eat again ofcourse. I might be imagining it but i think i lost some of my stomach fat. There is only a little bit right under my belly button anyway, but it pisses me off so bad.

woke up today after not getting enough sleep, and looking outside and seeing the cold rain, not ideal for jumping rope, i decided to go back to get to get my full 8 hours. so i woke up a few hours later, still tired. i might have over slept. i cant find a good rhythm yet. anyway, it was still raining and i did not want to go outside in that so i went downstairs to see if i could possible do it in the family room somewhere. i moved the coffee table and bam bam i somehow fit, and the rope didnt hit the ceiling somehow.

so i jumped rope for about 20 minutes. i was going for 15 straight but i stopped every once in a while because i messed up or just because i was super tired. i probably stopped for 3 minutes or so but the other 2 minutes were just for good measure. i want to get 15 minutes straight but its hard to do. i fuck up a lot and hit my foot. so then i ate oatmeal for my breakfast, later had rice soup, and i had piece of lasagna for dinner. i just had a banana and peanut butter smoothie too. i think that is a good amount of food.

throughout the day i did some L sit holds, and somehow i am much more comfortable with those already. almost back to where i was when i trained them regularly. and i also did some front lever holds and managed to get my back straight for a few seconds. im progressing pretty fast with those, happy about that.


again i am going to attempt to get to bed and asleep early.

I'm going to use this as more of a parkour/fitness training log from now on, so if anyone reads this u can stop because its going to be more for my own boring benefits.




So it seems as though my metabolism has finally started to slow down...and ive gained weight over the past year. I'm definitely not fat but i have some body fat now, like 3/4 of an inch around my stomach. i absolutely hate it, and since it is getting cold and wet again (especially over the next 3 days) i am going to mainly do cardio things to try and get rid of this nasty little belly that i have. i started off by running for about 20 minutes when i woke up. I hate running thou...i feel so out of place and uncomfortable with cross country or long distance running. i feel as if i have a bad technique and i look silly and running on pavement isnt really good for my knees and feet. so later in the day i did some jump rope. i like it a lot more, im much more comfortable at it and it feels like it does more for me. so i planned on doing 10 minutes...and i was huffing and puffing by 5. but around 7 or 8 i got a second wind and went on for 12 more minutes and reached 20. i felt like i could have still kept going to it was great.

i also went to gavin park to see if there was any training to do there, but it was wet and it sort of dimmed my opportunities. but for the most part there really isnt anything to do there anyway. maybe a few runs and if i could do muscle ups again that would make it more fun but, eh. i dont know if i will go back. it is supposed to snow wednesday, so it looks as though my season of training has come to an end anyway. there might be some clear days later in the week, where it could be arond 50...so i might get a few days in...but if not, i think i will really concintrate on stregth and conditioning in these following weeks and months of winter.

my goals are for
improved handstands.
front lever hold.
20 monkey pushups.
muscle up.( again, and if i can work with my bar outside)
increased flexibility, as always.
and to lose this weight and build up my core muscles. i want to have visible ab muscles for once.
and i think a v-sit hold for 30 seconds would be good. well...L sit anyway.



ok cool. i need to start working.

I want to move to new york city i think. I want to live in brooklyn. Hannah's brother's apartment there, was the coolest living space i've ever seen. Cool things everywhere. It sucks living at home, i feel like a loser. I kind of want to go to college but i also kind of dont.  Imean i dont know what to do. College is something to do so i have something to do...thats it. It is a time filler.


...These days....these days....

I love movement.

 

I really enjoy a movement that is practiced and drilled to perfection. Something like a skilled sewing machine operator. That is very beautiful to me....the muscle reflex due to thousands of repetitions and constant practice for years and years.

I also enjoy a spontaneous movement...one of reflex that is not premeditated. A reaction without thought, practice or feeling. Like a pitcher relying on reflex to stop the baseball from hitting his face on a line drive right back to him.

I do not know why i enjoy these things, and i feel like i will never know...but i do know that it is why i practice drawing and parkour. They combine both kinds of movement. To make great art or to be a great traceur i have to combine the two.My favorite kind of art is drawings that have many practiced and disciplined techniques and skills while combining a loose, free flowing line to blend with the final peice. And to move like i want to move i need to drill many movements, while being able to let go from thought and combine them all when i want to.

 

 

"What if you can't make yourself happy?"

'Then I don't know. You know what you do then you forget, you block it out... If you want to be happy don't think... if you stutter don't talk.'

so i havent showerd in like 10 or 11 days. its a weird thing that i never thought would be cool. i read that Michelangelo was a huge dirt bag...not showering (well..bathing) for sometimes over a year, and sleeping with his shoes on...basically, never taking them off. He had semi long shaggy hair, and a beard. For some reason all of that really intrigues me. He was so good and made these masterpieces, and was a huge dirt bag! Also, the band lightning bolt are super dirty. I've been watching this documentary/tour video of them, and they talk about their smelliness/dirtiness. I've also been watching interviews with writer-director Harmony Korine, who was good friends with Old Dirty Bastard, and he discovered Rosario Dawson as well as some other actors...and there is an interview with him where he is super dirty, dirty hair, smelly un tied shoes. bottom line...awesome. He apparently was rubbed the wrong way by Merryl Streep back stage before he was about to go on Letterman for the third time, and shoved her or hit her in some way and left HAHA. hes the fucking man. he was dong a movie that was going to be directed by his friend david blane (the magic man) where he was going around starting fights with people, and after 6 fights he was so beat up that they had to stop. Hes the most timid mouse like dude too its so funny. Totally dirty and crazy and brilliant. he did that movie Gummo that i talked about before.

its getting cold, and in turn ive been out of sorts. i hate winter and its creeping up on me.

so there was a scale at my grandpa's house yesterday that my sister noticed. she gets on, then my brother, then my cousin, and then i decide to get on. i look down and it says 195! my brother was 190. i couldnt believe it, ive never been heavier than my brother. I dont feel fat or unhealthy either, like all that extra weight could be fat...it must be muscle, because i feel like i am in great shape. i never run out of gas playing frisbee, when i look at my body now i can tell im in better shape than i was a few months ago, and i've been sore a lot the passed few weeks. i guess my muscles have been doing a lot of growing. it feels so awesome knowing how much stronger i am. i thought i was going to be like 175...thast what i was the last time i stepped on a scale. i feel great, like a strong person. the other day during a training session with zephan and taylor and i, we were doing dynamic push ups (push ups like when you go up, you go onto a ledge or stair in front of you and about a foot up maybe...) and zephan could barely do 2, taylor did about 4 and stopped and then i go and did maybe 12 and stopped because i didnt want to embareass them any more hahaha. i could have done like 50 i think.


my brother likes my phone so much that he might get his own today. i woke up naturally at 8:20 this morning, and layed in bed for a while because i i figured there was nothing for me to do downstairs, and then i fell back asleep for a while, like 45 minutes and got up at 11:20. now im watching the sum of all fears, i love this movie.

i dont know what im going to do today. just dont know! maybe parkour, maybe just draw. maybe go with my brother and get a case for my phone when he gets his phone.

me and taylor or taylor and i (grammar) are going to go to a lightning bolt show in brooklyn on saturday. this is good because i didnt not want to wkr saturday, but if i didnt work i would have had to go to my grandfathers 80 ith birthday party with all my relatives and i did not want to see him again hes a big douche bag. after spending 10 days with him in january earlier this year, i can say that i have had enough for at least 5 years. ... its also good that i am going to see lightning bolt because i get to see lightning bolt.

i am very nervous about seeing them, but its in brooklyn and most of the kids in brooklyn are indi kids so i dont think i have to worry about being curb stomped, but i am kinda. im bringing ear plugs. taylor and i (grammer good :) want to get there early so we can be right up close to them. they dont ever play on a stage so people just stand right next to them while they rock out. there are 2 guys, the drummer is crazy, and the bassits just stand there, and they have like 6 huge amps that they stack on top of each other and apparently blow everything away. im hoping its a small place and that not a lot of people found out about it so we can get up close.

gabes coming home tomorrow with his gf eliana. i dont want to go to work so i can see them.

hard to accept that the summers gone already and it starting to get cold again. i hope it doesnt snow till february like it did 2 years ago so i can still do parkour. i hate snow.

i hate football so much i wish everyone realized how stupid they were.

federer won the US open and im so happy he did, he needed this win. i wish poeple liked cats more than dogs, and tennis and not football, just so i would get along with everyone better.

sometimes i feel like that birdman on hey arnold, cause i love animals more than people animals.

i found out today at the doctors that i have week ligaments, and that my joints can dislocated easy...which is why my wrist hurts. i also found out that my arms are too long for my body...my wing spand is 4 inches longer than i am tall. that pissed me off cause ive always been self concious about that and accepted that it wasnt true, and now i found out that it is. whatever, u cant tell by looking at me, my mom was shocked when i told her, and im harder to fight...i have the abe lincoln reach bitch.

one thing i was wondering about earlier this week was why i like drawing people so much...faces, bodies, anatomy stuff...but i hate people....? wasnt really sure about that. i love the human body i think its a beautiful thing, and drawing it is a challenge, and faces are a part of it too...so i suppose that is why.   still, im hoping there isnt something deeper than that.

i was going to say something about a different topic and im trying to remember it but can't. my memory is as bad as a pot heads.

im really thnking about getting my tohu va vohu tattoo soon...i have the money to do it now. ya.


final thoughts....

quote from brian chippendale, the drummer of lightning bolt...

(to the kids of chicago in an interview)

"kids...drop out of school...play drums.... climb trees and build houses in them....  and then go back to school."
 

my mom is a terrible drunk and shes drunk right now. When she was sober yesterday she told me that working this job was good, and that i should work it and see it out, and finish my portfolio when im done. Just now (drunk) she was harassing me about it and saying that i should call albright and get my drawings back that i left there. Shes insane. I'm tired and in a bad mood so i told her to stop talking to me and leave me alone, i added a Please in there somewhere.

I want a tattoo. i might get one with the money im making now.

I have bags under my eyes. im so xhausted from working and playing frisbee and not getting enough sleep.


I'm going to apply to new paltz, purchase and UVM i think, and probably lyme academy. 


I need out of here.

sorry i havent been posting... just havent gotten around to it.

i got my new phone finally, and its friggin, awesome. i am stupid for being such a little kid about it. i mean who cares, its a phone? i suppose i just like little gadgets. i love little things. like little doors, miniature things, small things that are really cool, like bruce lee. idk, no explaination.

ive been working at aarons a lot, seems like too much i keep getting dehydrated in the sun. most hours i did were 8 and a half and i was sweating the whole time, felt really drained afterwords. working there is taking a lot of my time for working up my portfolio away...but i want to make as much money as i can before the wedding. so ike 9 more days of working, and im not going in all those days so yeah. 10 bucks an hour for doing bitch jobs is fine with me. i wont need to work till like november.

im so good at frsibee. my endurance is so high right now i feel great. and im sweating off all of my weight, im getting in really good shape again. my stomach muscles are starting to show again and ive been doing these arm excersizes and stretches. i can slap the backs of my hands together behind my back now, and beyond...and my shoulders, i want them to be like coconuts( as forrest would say haha). i do this thing where i sit in an L shape and keep my arms straight up, then i switch to holding them out like a T, and other positions. its hard but i can do it for 6 minutes now...its surpriseing how hard it actually is, i thought it was going to be so easy but my muscles start to tremble and i can instantly feel that i am using my musles and getting stronger in certain areas. i want to eventually do it for ten minutes no problem. and after that, keep going i dont know. 6 minutes i am ok, i think i could do seven.

i need a friggin girl friend. ive been having dreams that i am going out with someone, and its awesome, were sleeping and waking up together, doing things, its all cool. but its a dream and i wake up like, fuck! i do but i dont, and i dont know who so im lost.

i have so many songs that i need to work on recording. now that schools back my dad and sister are gone so i can start being loud again wthout feeling annoying or embarassed.

ive been texting like crazy with this new phone because its fun to do. i love the touch screen i can text shit so fast. 

my cants and dogs friggin have fleas.

i went into work with my mom today to get some extra money. did some busy work, really boring. but i saw mike miranda in the morning hwen we went to dunkin donuts....he was working there. it was kinda sad/made me angry that he was there, cause he should really be in an art school. he always told me that he wanted to be a comic book artist and i wanted him to. when people give up it makes me sad. anyway, he works there because his aunt is the manager, so i guess that is ok. he gave us free food. still i did not like seeing him in that uniform. hes too good of a kid to be stuck there, in malta, at 10 am.

at lunch we went to the Malta Plaza, and ordered chinese food. there was an old guy there that looked like an old boxer. he had a sad/mean face with a huge chin and huge forearms with a tattoo on one. i swear he looked like a washed up old boxer. he didnt even look up at us when we walked by....just drank his root beer slowly and flipped the pages in his magazine. then i saw the kitchen behind the corner and loved it. i love seeing the stoves and the piles of raw meet and the cooks out back taking a break, smoking cigarettes. i love the darkness of it and the sliver pans and cooking tools everywhere. i love seeing them cook, theyre so good.

ok... then we walked to cvs and i bought head bands for when my hair gets long, as well as some other stuff. my mom knocked some gum over. then we walked back.  i decided to try something new and got DUCK. and steamed dumplings because i love them. i saves two for my sister even thou i could have eaten all of them in 4 seconds. duck is good, im still eating the left overs now actually. its different, and sometimes i get scared because it could be like a stay cat...but oh well...its tasty.

my mom introduced me to her co workers all day, met a bunch of nerds. one guy i could tell was the weirdest guy; he had huge thick glasses, a quirrely beard, and and he was balding with long frizzy hair. he walked so goofily. he works as like a rocket scientist my mom said.

i met this black dude from albany who was the man. he calls my mom Banana hahaah. we made fun of my mom for a while, it was cool. there was a hot receptionist there, really hot.  the black dude lives in albany apparently, and he was pulled over and got in trouble because his friend in the back seat was carrying crack cocaine. haha. why do i like crazy people so much?

so i have more than enough money to get my cell phone, i cant friggin wait. ill probably get it friday because im working at aarons with dan tomorrow durring the day.

taylor went to the us open today, he saw nadal, and i am jealous. the other day he was telling me that his grandma bought him the shirt that nadal one wimbledon in, not the exact shirt but the same kind, and he said he was going to wear it. hahaha. hes such a huge gay person. hes the gayest person i know, like gayer than gay people but hes not gay.

ive been watching old halo tournament videos. im such a loser. but for real halo is one of the funnest things i do, its lke a MIND SPORT.

my cat cougar and i are best buds again beacuse my brothers dog isnt here and hes not hiding for his life. he loves me so much its so funny.

i missed frisbee today because i was too tired after working and i didnt have a ride home...and dave told me that it was one of the best games they've had all year. great. its a good thing i didnt pass my drivers test! WEEEE!!!

yesterday taylor and i wer etalking and i was like talking about drawing and how im really bad at finishing drawings and doing finished ones and how i had to do a lot more and i didnt know what to do with myself and blah blah blah, and he was like " do more "
and then we realized that thats the answer to everything that we want to do. like we both want to be like olympic handstanders, and the answer is. Do More, of them. .... "how do i get better at drawing?" -Do More.  i Love it. its my new thing to do/say. just fucking DO MORE.

ok this is a long one so im going to end it here.

well i fucking failed my road test. I'm a shitty driver. I actually started getting bad acne the last few days because i was driving and i was so worried about the test. I'm so glad its over, i really dont ever want to drive. I want to live in a city so i dont have to.


still really friggin sore, my abs hurt so bad i cant do any parkour.  but i feel stronger, and being sore is good i suppose, because that means i AM getting stronger. CooL.

i want to make a 5 egg omelet tomorrow morning, with mushrooms and cheese. its going to be so good.

my drivers test is tomorrow and im really nervous. i know i shoudlnt be, im a good driver i know it, but im still nervous. im afraid of the parallel parking.

I did a few drawings today and looked at them and was like whoa, im really pretty good. I cant wait till im where i want to be.

cell phone hopefully by friday? maybe thursday. awesome.

I'm so sore from yesterday, sneezing hurts so bad... but it feels good, after one day i can actually see and feel more in shape. And I'm going to go to the doctor even thou the appointment will cost money, i need to know what i should do about my wrist.

i want to start going to bed earlier and waking up at a decent hour, and start getting into more of a rhythm with drawing and doing parkrar. Taylor told me a quote by piccaso the other day that went something like....dont put off your dreams for tomorrow...but it was worded a lot better. he was right tho; i really should try, everyday, to make strides. like stretching or practicing handstands, and i already do drawing...but i will kill myself if im old and havent achieved these things that i want to achieve.

I trained with taylor today for the first time in over a month because of my wrist. it stil hurts, i cant do climb ups but i can do handstands and mostly everything else. too bad, i had just got a full muscle up before my injury.  It was a really good day of training. We went all over and i felt really confident and controlled. my new shoes work pretty well, still too soon to know if they are really really good. my precision jumps are like a foot longer, idk how i can jump farther after not doing shit for so long. im not complaining thou, my black legs got blacker.

Taylor really doesnt care about other people at all anymore. he wears whatever he feels like, and will randomly go into a cat crawl or monkey crawl walking down the street with people all around. today he wore the gayest shirt, it was a sky blue v neck, the neck went down to like just above his belly button and it has a little pocket. he also does this super gay thing with his hair where he puts it in two pony tails. we were getting water at the foutain and this little kid came up and was getting water with us, and the first thing he asked taylor was "are you a man?" hahahha. it was so great. nobody can tell if taylors a boy or a girl.

the little kid tho was awesome. the spring wasnt working and it was going really slow, and he had a cup and was filling his cup up and putting water in our bottles for us. little kids are so cool, they dont give a shit because they are so new and they havent started worrying about everything yet.

michelle keeps texting me, i really hope she doesnt think we are dating or something...that'd just be an awkward situation.

i hung out with anne and lauren like 2 weeks ago and forgot to write about it...but it was fun. we made mix drinks and they bought me food and make cup cakes and watched scary movies. all the movies were a let down, we watched this one called mr jingles that looked cool on the cover, but it was SO TERRIBLE. first off, it was shot with like a video camera and without a tripod or like a sound mic.  the first scene is like a shot of a house which is terrible, then goes to inside the house and this clown cuts a guys stomach and this guy drops the worst fake guts covered in fake blood that ive ever seen. i dont even know why they tried. we watched a little more and turned it off. it was too bad...but it was funny because it was so bad.  then we watched the ruins on demand, and it was a let down too. oh well. it was cool hanging out with them though, lauren and i have more in common i think and she went back to college today so i dont know if anne and i will hang out again. were really different, and she doesnt really like scary movies so perhaps no more movie nights.

i cant wait to get my cell phone. holy crap!

i need to start drawing and actualy finishing drawings. shading/rendering is so tedious to me. i heard marko djurjevic, one of my favorite artists, say that finishing drawings and doing drawings that you like have to do, for a deadline or a portfolio, is tedious for him too. he compared it to washing dishings haha.  but he said something like, washing dishes sucks and you want to get it done as fast as possible...and i treat my art the same way. i just want to get it done and out of the way.
its like i love drawing and geting new ideas and getting the general gist of a drawing down on paper, but filling it completely and making it clean and perfect is soooo annnooyyyyyiiinnnnggg. but i have to do it to get into new paltz, so i have to. poop.

i just ate a pork chop sandwich with mayo...it was so good.

thats good for now

Spent another week in hampton beach, this time getting there by car, and going with my family. Getting there in 4 days was actually way better than getting there in 4 hours. Thinking about how long taylor and i rode our bikes for is so awesome. I sometimes think about different things and moments in the journey, and remember how proud i am of myself for doing it. so that being said,  this time around was very anti climactic. Staying home might have been more fun, having the house to myself...i could have seen more of my friends off before they leave for school.

I really want to get this LG Dare cell phone. its awesome, its touch screen, and basically is a digital camera. Its 200 dollars but i dont care. I havent had a super huge craving for a cell phone since i was like 12, and my brother and i would dream about cell phones, and thought they were the coolest things in the world. I think ill get it by tuesday. cant wait.

i was (accidentally) watching an episode of sex and the city a few weeks ago, and noticed that one of my favorite songs, 'killing all the flies' by Mogwai was playing in the background. I was super excited at first that someone else new about Mogwai, but then i got mad because, well it seemed to me like a sell out thing to do. I told Taylor about it and he agreed with me that it sucked....at first. He then told me that he actually watched all of the seasons of the show at college.  "..." Taylors a little weird and gay and stupid, but i firgured, i should give this show a shot, because i cant believe that Mogwai, one of my favorite bands, can actually be COMPLETE sell outs. (I also heard a song by them in a new Nike commercial airing during the olympics...   "...")

I'm eating cheese right now and drinking mango juice. the cheese doesnt taste right.

i saw the orphanage the other night and wasnt as scared as i thought i was going to be. it wasnt a really SCARY movie, and it wasnt actually directed by guillermo del toro, only produced, so i was sort of let down. Plus, i had a mental relapse and thought guillermo del toro was and alfonso cuaron...so that sort of sucked ass. but it was still a really good, solid movie.

i think one of the worst things that can happen, in the average sense, is stepping in cat barf or dog poop. It's terrible and i just did it and i stuck my shoe in a pool FUCK.

I need a job but i dont know where to work.

I'm probably going to go to bed now. ok bye

1:38 AM

worked at aarons saturday and sunday with Chad. we finially finished sanding all those friggin boards; did like 80 in one day it was killer. Aarons sisters fiance is a weird guy but it was cool meeting him and working with him..hes a doctor,  and he diagnosed my wrist injury and talked about some other doctor stuff. Its cool watching scrubs and ER and then meeting a dude thats actually in that lifestyle.

watched a movie called Gummo or Gumma or something just a while ago at gabes with casey and dan and jon, and it was CRAZY weird. I loved it. there was a kid with huge bunny ears and a tattoo on his hand that walked around, there were kids killing stray cats, people having sex with retards, a gay midget, people fighting, bad acting, improvisation, naked women, perverts, people shaving their eyebrows..just....FUCK. it was like jerry springer without jerry springer.

my cats sleeping in my laundry basket on all of my dirty clothes.

I think my title for this journal is super emo and i LOVE IT.

i cut my hair in the back a little bit today. i was sick of the stupid pony tail even tho it was comfortable. I'm thinking about cutting it all short still.

i FUCKING GOT MY CAMERA LENZ BCK.

casey and gabe and i went to cvs earlier tonight and we bought candy, i found gabe some wall e sunglasses, i bought a gatorade, and we were in line and we saw sara deforrest and talked to her for like idk 10 or 15 minutes. shes so cute and funny and smart, ive always had a little crush on her. the only thing thats weird is that tim went out with her, and tim went out with shannon before that....so it'd basically be like tim/shannon, me/ shannon, tim/sara, me/sara.   my friends think i should go for it, that iw as a long time ago and it wont matter. im still a little like EHHHHH?  she asked me to go to an almond brothers concert with her because she had an extra ticket but im going to be in new hampshire. i think i might have gone if i wasnt going. i cant tell if shes into me though. idk we'll see we'll see...


adams home so i think im going to hang out with him again tomorrow. he leaves tomorrow night. i cant believe hes here for such a short amount of time.

i wish my wrist would stop hurting. im going to go get a brace tomorrow at rite aid or something.

My new shoes got a scratch on them and im actually kind of mad.


ok i dont know what else to type about.